Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
