Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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