We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
