I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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