He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
