Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
