Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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