we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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