just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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