so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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