Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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