Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
