fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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