and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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