Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
