Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
