She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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