Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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