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Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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