Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
