we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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