I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
