Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize
