Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
