loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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