You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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