Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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