can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
