i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize