In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
