I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
