No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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