wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
