Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Randomize
