Define "chronic" masturbator.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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