THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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