Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
