Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
