Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
