thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
as a side note pls kill me
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
