I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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