May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize