I just saw a hot homeless man
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
