You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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