My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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