Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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