Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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