i will never coherently bang her
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
