imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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