smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
