Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Vodka?
Forever.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
