What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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