you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
