And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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