i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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