No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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