Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
