so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
