Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
