Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize