Define "chronic" masturbator.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize